In Explanation...

It has been some time since I posted on here and, since I was sort of the one originally championing the cause of the blog, a lapse in other postings as well.  For this I must apologize and give explanation.

I am now officially a lost sheep, a prodigal son, or one of the lapsed.  I have been struggling with many things since June of last year and this blog was actually, in part, an attempt of mine to stem the tide of my own impending disbelief in God and disenchantment with life.  I figured if I could steep myself in scripture once more and gain an audience or a group of friends I would find purpose once again.  I have not.  And life has quickly consumed the joy which once I only found in pursuing Christ.

But I can't find it there any longer.  I read and pray...nothing.  I go to Church, try to sing, listen intently...nothing.  I work with the youth and try to teach...nothing.  I can no longer be a hypocrite and continue in these things.  I have turned from my Faith because I feel my Faith has turned from me.  Try as I might, I can't touch it any longer, I can't feel it pulse through my veins, I draw little strength and no peace from it.  I have no hope that anything now is working to my good.  No hope at all actually.  Henry David Thoreau, a deist, once said that the masses lead lives of quiet desperation.  I agree with him and am succumbing now to the quiet desperation my life has been consumed by.

This is why I have not posted on here lately.  I didn't feel it would be right as I dealt with the weight of these feelings to act as if everything was ok; so I said nothing at all.  But my feelings have got to the breaking point and my grip on life and faith has dissolved to the point that I fear the complete loss of both (a recent  hospital visit confirmed the former).  So I leave the blog to whatever future it has under Brett and Stephen (and maybe myself if I can find my way back to the fold so-to-speak) and apologize for its short history.  I encourage you all to continue in the faith and give me a model to live up to again.     For now, however, I cannot pretend to have my stuff together and will no longer contribute to a blog knowing that I have nothing of any worth to say at this point in time.

I wish you well,

Chris

On Virginity, or the Consecrated Life

Preachers, teachers, parents, and other authorities have taught many of us from an early age that preserving one's virginity is very important. This was always communicated under the assumption that it would someday be given to our spouses. Sadly this teaching has focused simply on maintaining virginity until marriage and does not even take into consideration the honourable, laudable, and holy state of the Consecrated Life as a possibility for youth of today. It is assumed that the procreative urges natural in all humans must be indulged at some point and that a truly fulfilled life requires marriage and a family. Marriage and children are good and holy things, but we do our young people a disservice to not offer them the option of living a life wholly consecrated to the love and service of God.

In Christianity, monasticism has been designated as the path for single people who desire to remain single. A community of believers wedded to Christ and the Church who have set themselves apart to the service of God can be a powerful force with which to be reckoned. The influence of consecrated men and women on the life of the Church is tremendous and should not be dismissed.

St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 commends the unmarried life to single believers as preferable to that of the married life. Remaining unmarried, in St. Paul's estimation, allows believers to be fully focused on the work of Christ and the Church. However, if a man or women finds that controlling lustful passions is best served through marriage, no sin is committed, but fidelity to one's spouse is required. Too often seeking marriage in order to control passions is used as a convenient excuse for not engaging in serious discernment concerning the consecrated life of virginity. I would urge you, beloved of Christ, think carefully about what God would have you do. It is far better for you to admit the possibility of being called to consecrated life than to rashly marry and cause great distress through not properly discerning the will of God.

In conclusion, I do not condemn or denigrate the married life, but I do wish to praise the consecrated life. It is distressing that, especially in North America, we have so abandoned monasticism that it no longer figures into the lives of Christians or is even considered as a viable option among our youth. In our society that places such a premium on indulging every whim and passion, that insists on getting everything exactly as desired, it would be a good and holy thing for Christian youth to consider once again the call of Christ to deny themselves, take up their Cross, and follow Christ, even to the point of leaving behind family, wealth, and worldly aspirations.

May God send forth his Spirit to put into the hearts of many the vocation to the consecrated life. Amen.

Veni, Veni Immanuel

An author I have been reading lately as part of my Lenten preparations said that the beginning of theology occurs when we take the historical event of Christ’s death on the Cross and instead ask the Christian why? While some may see the holes in this, the point is when we reflect upon why Christ died when He could have avoided the Cross; we begin the discipline and joy of theology. And while this doesn’t quite relate to the purpose of this post per se I wanted purely to say that often we can get lost in the complexities or problems of faith when what we need at most times is to simple come before the Cross and lose ourselves in the mystery of Christ’s passion.

It is with this Spirit that I have thus come to approach Lent. Often the direction of my Lenten study, and importantly the books I want to read and meditate on come well before the season. This year was different, this year I struggled. I had no idea what to read, I had no idea what to study, I had no idea what to base my meditations upon. I even had no idea what to fast from. The traditional fast seemed appealing as a means to overcome this but as I prayed about and considered it, it just did not seem right. The book from which the insight in the first paragraph comes, John Behr’s “The Mystery of Christ” was one I had long meant to read and turned to a week in to Lent out of desperation. From there came readings in the Apostolic Fathers, and now in an effort to truly get myself into the season I am reading the Lent sermons of Andrewes and St. Leo the Great. And while this is great I was reminded last weekend that I have missed the point. I have let my religion and spirituality lose its grounding and allowed it to become complicated. 

What spurred this Epiphany was simply the remembrance in my mind of the great Advent hymn, Veni, Veni Immanuel (A link to one version of the text will be at the ned of the post). The first line, O Come, O Come Immanuel, reminded me what was truly important about Lent, indeed reminded what is most important at all times of the year. What I need, what we all truly need is Christ. At all times, in all places, in all situations I and we need Christ. I didn’t need to read specific books or meditate on certain words, symbols or images. I just needed to allow myself to remember that I need Christ. I NEED CHRIST. Nothing else and most importantly nobody else. Only Christ gives me life, only Christ can guide my paths, only Christ can bring me to the Father, from whom I can adore and find peace, comfort, joy and peace by the Holy Ghost. The simple task, the simple thing I needed to do this Lent was to remind myself to be lost, to allow myself to be reminded that I need Christ, and I need Him continually.

As I have studied theology at College level, I have often found the pursuit of knowledge of God far more appealing whether recognised or not, rather than pursuing to be alone, to be vulnerable, to be stripped bare before Christ. To be humbled before Him, to come completely empty and broken as I am before Him each and every day, acknowledging Him as the fountain of life, of wisdom and of knowledge. And while God has used my study to draw me close to Him, to reveal Himself to me, too often I have felt that I will be most effective to Him if I can become a great theologian, a great Patristics scholar or a great historian. Though of course these aren't bad goals I have too often approached them first instead of turning to God first. I have approached study to find God when I should have realised all I needed to do was allow God to work in me. To stop, take the time each day to genuinely pray, not just to talk but to listen and to be silent in His presence. If it is His will, God will provide absolutely all that I need to be a great theologian, Patristics scholar etc. (I should point out I don't want this for fame, such as there is, not many would have heard of Barth, Moltmann or Rahner, but because I want to know all that I can, about the faith I love and the God I adore), but it will be all for nothing, if I don't put Him first. I must each and every day, during many times today call upon Christ and ask Him to come, to come and redeem this captive.

 

While I am continuing my reading with this renewed focus, I am singing and reciting the hymn daily, to remind myself that all I need, and all I will ever need is Christ. For Christ alone can satisfy my soul, my needs and my wants, and only Christ can lead me into the life that will not only bring out my full potential but allow me to be all that God wants me to be for others. St. Irenaeus says that “Man fully alive is the Glory of God”, that is what I want for my life, and that I can only aspire to achieve if first I allow myself to be taken over by Christ. To be filled by Him and to be completely surrendered to Him. So Come, O Come Immanuel, and renew Thy captive Israel.

May God bless you this Lenten season and may you be reminded that all you, and all that we need is for Christ to come to us, upon us, and in us. I am interested also to hear what others are doing during this Lenten season.

Here's the link for the text of the hymn:  http://www.carols.org.uk/o_come_come_emmanuel.htm

Peace and Blessings,

Brett